


All my dreams and all the lights mean nothing if I can't have you

by Helpneedmorefanfics



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama???, How Do I Tag, Love??, M/M, Mutual Pining, Trope time babey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:21:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26337913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helpneedmorefanfics/pseuds/Helpneedmorefanfics
Summary: Optimus looked at the knife glinting above him and thought, "At least the others were able to get away," And, "I wonder if they'll miss me," And then, as the knife came down, "I wish I'd told Megatron that I love him."
Relationships: Megatron/Optimus Prime
Comments: 11
Kudos: 87





	All my dreams and all the lights mean nothing if I can't have you

**Author's Note:**

> Gift for ovega!! She has amazing art y'all you really need to check it out, with beautiful robots, many lesbians, and cute babies:  
> https://instagram.com/_.ovega._?igshid=sfowqs9mczae

“WAIT!” Megatron roared as he threw the doors open, trailing sparking wires and energon, dead guards visible in the hallway behind him. The Soulknife stopped inches away from sinking into Optimus’ chassis, and then was suddenly gone as the Queen holding it was pushed behind two bodyguards.

Optimus wished desperately that he could escape, take advantage of the distraction, but the Queen was faster, tightening the chains on his wrists with a wave of her hand, and then sinking them further into the floor. He tugged uselessly at them, then twisted around to look at Megatron, trying to keep the desperation and fear from showing on his face.

Megatron barely spared him a glance, instead taking in the various guns pointed at him from all around. Both of them knew that even Megatron couldn’t survive them if they decided to shoot- the only thing holding them back from doing so right now was the sheer absurdity of his appearance. Optimus had never been more terrified in his life. 

::What are you doing?:: Optimus commed him, even as the Quintesson Queen hissed out, “And what do you want?”

Megatron ignored Optimus, faceplates blank of any emotion and told the Queen, “I’ve come to make you a deal. My life for his.”

No. _No_. 

“Megatron, you can’t- rghh” Optimus choked as a chain wrapped around his throat cables, cutting him off. Behind him, the Queen hummed, amused, and approached Megatron, black and blue tentacles twisting and curling on the floor. Optimus struggled wildly against his bonds, biting one of the tentacles clean off one of the guards trying to hold him down, his vocalizer straining and glitching against the tightening chain. He snarled ferociously as the Queen’s tentacles hovered in the air before a clearly uncomfortable Megatron, every part of him growling and snapping for him to tear her away from him.

::Megatron, get out of here, now::

::Shut up, Prime.::

“Interesting deal,” the Queen drawled, “Cybertron’s military leader for their pacifist one.”

Megatron remained silent. Optimus wheezed out, “Meg- ple- go,” from his cracking vocal box, but Megatron still wouldn’t look at him, watching the Queen circle him with hatred in his optics. The pain coursing through Optimus’ frame was overwhelmed by the fear of Megatron offlining in front of him, for him, _because_ of him. 

::Megatron, please, don’t do this.::

“And here I thought I’d finally get to try this out,” the queen sighed, looking at the Soulknife in her hand with mock sadness. She turned to Megatron, “It’s supposed to kill even the Primes, you know. Can’t resurrect them if their very soul has been destroyed, now, can you?”

He must have known, Megatron would never have come otherwise. Optimus pulled at his chains again, then screamed as an electric prod was shoved into an open wound on his back, pain making his vision go white. The shocks subsided after a few seconds and he came to half on the floor, smoking and crackling.

Megatron was looking at him now, face still blank, but Optimus could see the fear and horror and anger in the other’s optics. Optimus shook his helm, begging through his broken voice for him to get away. Megatron looked away again.

“I’ll be taking it obviously,” the Queen said, twirling around to her throne and putting the Soulknife back in its case. “With you out of the picture, and this fool in charge, I’ll have conquered Cybertron by tomorrow.”

::She’s wrong, you know. Take advantage of her underestimation and hit her with all we have tonight.:: Megatron finally answered. 

Optimus’s spark dropped. The last part of him that was hoping for it to be a plan, a scheme, all faded away. Megatron truly meant to die for him.

::No:: He pleaded, as the Queen was distracted with shouting at her drones for not handling the case with care ::I can’t lose you:: He really couldn’t- even back when they were still at war, he could never make himself take that last shot, always pushed down any thoughts about Megatron offlining, knew he would never last in a world without him.

Barely visible, Megatron flinched ::You can.:: 

Optimus sobbed out loud, pushing data packet after data packet at the silver mech- memories, feelings, them laughing over drinks, catching sight of each other over a battlefield and gravitating towards each other, the thrill when they clashed, the guilt of longing for him increasing tenfold in the darkness of night, the relief and happiness of the truce, the ceremony, looking at Megatron and knowing spark deep that there was no one else for him.::I _can’t_ ::

Megatron’s optics widened and he looked at Optimus again.

“There is one thing I am curious about though”, the queen said, turning back around, “Why are you doing this for him?”

Megatron did not move his gaze away from Optimus' when he answered, “You know how these stories go. Why do you think?”

And he sent Optimus data packets as well- watching Optimus light up during debates, seeing him rock a sparkling until it stopped crying, having bad jokes and dry humor whispered into his audials during meetings, the beauty of Optimus caught up in a fight, the beauty of Optimus when he smiled brightly on their first day of peace, their crowning ceremony, the slow increasing tension every day after, knowing they were going to fall into each other's arms in the end. 

::Neither can I::

The Queen tittered and Optimus despised her. “And now, your love for the Prime will doom your people. Release him,” she said with a wave of her hand, and the guards lifted Optimus to his pedes and started hauling him away. 

Optimus shouted, struggling, tears running down his face. He couldn’t leave him, he couldn't, he _couldn’t_ -

Megatron watched him go, smiling sadly. The remote glinted in his servos as he pressed down on the button, and Optimus had a moment of realization, but before he could scream out, the bombs went off and the world went black.

* * *

Optimus onlined his optics to a tilting floor and corpses all around. His processor swirled, HUD reporting damage after damage to every part of his frame, and he urgently diverted most of what little power he had just to keep his optics working. Optimus dismissed the flashing alerts and pushed himself onto shaking pedes, limping into the throne room as fast as he could. 

The Soulknife lay on the ground, shining unnaturally in the flickering lights, protective case broken but not a scratch on the knife itself and Optimus snatched it up as he stumbled past. He tried to comm Megatron and then had to hold his helm in his servos and focus on not crumpling to his knees as it fritzed violently. No comms then, he’d have to rely on his failing optics.

The ceiling had fallen in, rocks and metal covering the floor and Optimus dragged himself along, fear clogging his intake, every twisted piece of metal looking like a mutilated corpse. Suddenly, from the corner of his optics, his processor registered movement and the fear dissolved in favor of elation as he ran towards it, stumbling over dead bodies and debris. 

Optimus finally managed to pull himself over and then stopped, spark dropping and disappointment sinking into his frame.

It was the Queen, tentacles caught under the rubble, weakly struggling. She looked over at Optimus, his servos tight and trembling over the Soulknife, both very well aware of what he could do. 

"You won't do it," She hissed, and hatred boiled through Optimus' energon, "I've seen recordings of you- you're too weak. You'd never destroy a soul like that." 

Optimus looked at the Soulknife. It truly was a terrible relic- containing the soul of a sacrifice, meant to mix with the next person stabbed and completely destroy them, for all eternity. Was he capable of doing that? Extinguishing someone's soul? He looked back at the Queen, trying her best to put on an air of bravado even as the fear was clearly visible on her face. 

He thought about Megatron. 

Optimus stabbed her, satisfaction curling in his tanks, relishing in her screams as she died. Maybe he would have felt bad with anyone else, but she had- she was the reason why-

The knife and Queen turned to dust and the part of Optimus not screaming in horror thought _good, no one will have to know._

Optimus got back to his pedes and started searching for Megatron again, ship tilting wildly underneath his pedes. Finally, he caught a glint of silver stuck under a slab of concrete and stumbled over.

_Please, no_ , he begged, as he pushed the stone off, catching sight of Megatron's mangled frame, legs half blown off, plating blackened. His optics were offline, torn cables spread all around, and energon splashed up on Optimus as he fell to his knees. _You can't._

Optimus pulled Megatron into his arms and shook him, “Wake up! Come on, you stubborn, glitched crankshaft, _wake up_!”

Around them, the ship shuddered and screeched as the engines gave out. The Quintessons manning the controls would have died with the Queen, hivemind that they were, and vaguely Optimus registered that they’d won.

He hadn’t. Not with the mech he loved dying in his arms. 

The ship screamed and suddenly started falling, losing the fight with the gravity of the planet it was hovering over. Optimus sobbed and shook Megatron again, saying, “Don’t leave me, please. We've just found peace, we just ended the war, but what’s the use of it if you leave me?”

Still hoping against hope, even as his processor repeated again and again that there was no way anyone could survive a bomb at such close range, Optimus started sealing the worst wounds shut, pleading, “We were supposed to love each other till the end of our days, we were supposed to have time. Megatron, I can't live without you, _please_."

Optimus could hear a shrill screeching as some part of the ship ripped off as they got closer to the ground and knew that he had to find a way to get off the falling ship right now if he wanted to survive. He had gotten the layout of the ship down, and he still had a few fumes left in his jetpack, so he could escape, but-

But he was nowhere near strong enough to get both of them to safety in time, the jetpack was nowhere near powerful enough to hold them both up, and what was the point anyway, if Megatron didn’t survive with him? 

The lights suddenly went off, leaving Optimus helpless in the dark. He could no longer see anything he was doing, could barely see Megatron’s face by the dim light of his cracked optics.

In desperation, he pried open the other's spark chamber, choking on despair as he saw the last wisps of Megatron's spark sputtering out, silver frame sinking into dull gunmetal grey, dying. 

Optimus cried out and buried his helm in the other's chassis, unwilling to watch Megatron leave him alone in the darkness, leave him _alone_ , watch that brilliant blue spark that had been his entire world slowly disappear-

He froze. Lifted his helm to look. Sparks _didn't_ slowly disappear- they went out all at once. And at such a close range, there was no way Megatron should have survived even for this long, it was impossible, it-

_Is it impossible_ , something that wasn't him whispered, and the Matrix let out a surge of power, the tips of his digits glowing white, _Optimus Prime_? 

Optimus' vents hitched as the realization sunk in, and he pressed his forehead to Megatron’s, closed his optics and _hoped_.

“You’re not allowed to die," Optimus told him fiercely, "You’re going to wake up, and live and come home with me. We’re going to get conjunxed and live in peace for millenia, and die next to each other. The only person ever allowed to kill you is me.”

“Possessive, aren’t we?” Megatron chuckled, cradling Optimus’ cheek with a servo. Optimus snapped his optics online, tears cresting and slipping down, sobbing in relief. 

Megatron was smiling at him, tears streaking down his face as well. The ship approached the ground faster and faster, and the hull suddenly tore off around them. The yellow and orange of the fire engulfing the ship merged beautifully with the pink and purple of the sky of the planet they were about to crash into, but Optimus only had eyes for the wisps of blue sparklight strengthening slowly and those red, red, _red_ optics. 

Optimus snapped what was left of his battlemask back, metal pieces tinkling to the floor and breathed out, "Megatron, your spark, can I-"

Megatron lifted a hand and pulled Optimus down, the latter already transforming his chest plates away, and murmured against his lips, "Obviously, you idiot. It's always been yours to have."

Optimus kissed him and pushed their sparks together. 

It was brilliant, overwhelming, dazzling, terrifying. He could feel Megatron coming back, spark strengthening and expanding straight into his own, escaping the razor black edged abyss to which Optimus had almost lost him. 

_Optimus_ , Megatron sighed across the sparkbond warping into existence, binding them together into one person. Optimus shuddered as the last of it weaved into place and didn’t break the kiss.

_Love you._ One of them said. Both of them said. _Love you so much, I’d do anything for you, never do this again, I thought I’d lost you, I thought I’d lost you, don’t ever leave me again, be mine, stay with me forever, marry me, be my conjunx, I was so scared, I was scared too, I love you, IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou-_

Megatron pulled away from the kiss, both of them panting hard. Optimus missed him immediately, but he could already feel the other in his spark, with him for the rest of their lives, and couldn’t be too mad.

“Why are we falling?” Megatron snapped out, frowning in alarm. 

Optimus winced, “Ship’s crashing.”

Megatron opened his mouth to yell out, “You idiot!” and Optimus laughed at the affronted look on his face, even in the situation they were in, probably seconds away from offlining. He felt a wave of sheer protectiveness flow over their bond, and the weird feeling of stretching something that hadn’t ever been moved, before Optimus ignored it to kiss him once again, merge their sparks once again and the ship crashed into the ground.

* * *

Optimus onlined his optics, surprised. He pulled his spark from the merge slowly, Megatron releasing his servos from where they'd dug deep and dented into Optimus' shoulders. They locked gazes, mutually shocked by the fact that they were still alive, before Megatron's optics slid past Optimus and cycled wide. Optimus followed his gaze.

“You know, this would have been a really great help during the war,” he commented, looking up at the shield covering them both. He poked it with a digit- as hard as titanium, yet still see through. Optimus caught sight of some very interesting runes and glyphs etched on the outside, and even what looked like their alliance symbol, before the force field moved, pushing the collapsed hull out and away and dissolving into nothing. 

Megatron grunted, pushing off the rubble that had fallen on them when his shield disappeared and wrapped his arms around Optimus' neck, “Shut up and get us out of here.”

Optimus obliged, pushing away debris and carrying Megatron in his arms out of the burning wreckage. 

Optimus didn’t know where exactly they were, although it didn't look like it was inhabited. The landscape of this planet looked untouched and beautiful- sparkling waterfalls and floating islands, with no sound apart from the crackling of the fire behind them and what sounded like birds above them. 

The ship had crashed on a floating island itself and Optimus spotted the edge of it not too far away, deciding that it would be as good a place to rest as any. He somehow managed to get them to the edge before his frame collapsed, both of them landing in the soft pink grass with pained moans.

They exvented in unison and looked up. The Quintesson ships that had dotted the twilight sky with black were falling to the ground, burning up, turning orange. It looked rather like-

“The meteor showers in Khadoa,” Megatron finished, pulling himself up to lean against Optimus. Oh, right- they were in each other’s processors now. Optimus could even feel the phantom echo of a distress comm being sent out if he concentrated hard enough.

Oh, and- Khadoa. Optimus smiled as he recalled the memory- _The two of them escaping to the barren planet all those years ago, just the day before Megatronus had given his first speech. The memories overlapped over the bond- giggling in the fields, watching the shower of stars against the backdrop of galaxies, looking into bluered optics, shifting closer, reaching out to touch myhis cheek, filled with trepidation and excitement and fear and love-_

Optimus sighed at the memory of their first kiss, so long ago. “Fitting,” he said, resting his helm against Megatron’s, intertwining their fingers, “Journeys end in lovers meeting.” 

Megatron huffed a laugh and turned towards him, open and relaxed like he hadn't been in millennia and Optimus melted in response. The silver mech smiled fondly and just the slightest bit bashfully at him, and Optimus could feel him ecstatic at them finally, finally being bonded and the Prime poured the same joy into the bond right back, words escaping him. Megatron jerked his helm towards the ships streaking the sky with brilliant orange-white, and said quietly, “Want to make a wish?”

Optimus didn’t bother looking. He stared at Megatron instead, drinking him in, blackened silver plating, covered in energon and badly sealed wounds, the enemy he’d fought for so long, the mech he’d loved for so long, so different in so many ways, yet in so many ways still the same. 

“Don’t need to,” Optimus said at last. Megatron threw his helm back and laughed happily at the same words Orion had given him all those millenia ago. He grabbed Optimus by the arm and pulled him until the red and blue mech was holding himself over him, both their chest plates already open. Megatron shut his optics as their lips and sparks slowly moved closer and Optimus smiled, so, so in love, whispering, “Everything I want is already right here next to me.”

**Author's Note:**

> I had to search up songs for a good title and Lana Del Rey, MA'AM-
> 
> And some explanation: I like to think that the thirteen primes each had some power of their own, and each successor embodied one of their powers. So Optimus is the successor of the Prime of Hope, which means that his power (instead of something visible like Rod's fire) is that anything he hopes hard enough for will come through, which is why the autobots always cane through even in horrible odds. And Megatron can summon shields since he's Lord Protector because I said so.


End file.
